Getting caught up in the drama of our lives blinds us from reality and seeing the simplicity in the moment. As I'm writing this on the rooftop deck of my friend's apartment complex, I'm amazed at the wonder of the afternoon (pictures included). To my right is Lake Michigan and the sandy shore line that hugs it. Facing me, is the view of John Hancock and the Magnificent Mile. A carpet of green trees and bright rooftops lay below. An orange sunny sky looms above. A bright bikini clad young woman lies to my right, sunning on a black wrought iron chaise three chairs over. I could observe how easy it should be to be so caught up in the events of my entire life that even the serenity and wonderment of such views may be overshadowed by drama's stories, grieves and hurts.Dramacool
The difficult and painful events that have occurred within our past and our fears about the long run blurs our vision and keeps us stuck in a quagmire of deceit. So caught up are we in the drama of our lives that individuals often times fail to notice how blue is the sky or green will be the trees roughly white is the bikini. Our anatomies might physically be in the "here and now" but our minds definitely are not.
Drama binds us to yesteryear and holds our future captive. We tend to believe that our responses to recent events derive from present feelings when in reality they represent unfinished, unresolved and uncompleted emotions. We often don't see that drama keeps us in the problem of yesteryear within our present. Kept limited by our dramas, we never heal and we never grow. What we can learn from new experiences never present themselves because we dilute the lesson with drama.
An episode is a deep and very personal story of what the "event" meant to us. It can be an engineered story of the "what is" by giving the "what is" your own meaning. An illustration: imagine you're driving down the expressway at a secure speed. Someone in a sports car races behind you, quickly swerves to your lane and manages to cut you off before driving away. The reality of "what is" is that somebody is speeding and quickly swerves into your lane. The personal story or drama that you just created at that moment may be "Exactly what a jackass! He must think I'm driving too slow and that I'm not really a sufficient driver. Now we take the event personally. Another reality: your spouse walks far from the marriage. Your drama is: "I'm unworthy of love" or "I can't trust anybody anymore, I will just get hurt again if I remarry."
How we can "grow" far from drama is to acknowledge the difference between what's reality and what's drama. The truth is just an event separate from any emotions (I got fired from my job / I obtained divorced). Drama is our personal story, the reason, we make-up of how the event affects us and what it means to our lives (My boss is a real jackass / I'm unlovable). We always want to produce meaning in everything that takes place within our lives. Healing and growing starts by understanding the difference between what's reality and what's fiction and then just accepting the event since it is (I no more have a job) without the drama.
I am aware easier said then done. Sometimes it's in the story and the personal meaning behind it that makes life interesting but when the story repeats itself time and time again in a never ending cycle, the event never dies. It consistently repeats itself in similar situations even after years of the initial occurrence; old feelings of hurt are resurrected. (I text her but she didn't text back. She mustn't like me and anyone who doesn't text me right me right away later on should also mean they don't love me as well. Love blows!). Drama doesn't allow us to develop into mature experienced adults rather we remain emotionally stagnant at age it's occurrence.
The dramas within our lives are produced by made-up untrue beliefs while denial shrouds the true issues. We arrive at awaken from the drama whenever we accept the truth that we've the greatest power to turnaround our lives. When we are able to create mental poison and emotions then we're also able to make a positive spin for a passing fancy event. Change thinking and emotions into something positive that will empower us and inspire others and consequently we arrive at take back control within our lives. By accepting the event as what it's will free us from the emotional bond since it demonstrates that only our jobs or relationships are ending and not our lives. This can be achieved by writing out a list of what's happening without attaching the emotions associated with it. In the case of losing work your list might include:
1. I have already been fired
2. I no more have work
3. I will have to find a new job
4. I haven't any income
5. I've little savings
After reading over your notes and removing most of the drama or unworthiness, fear, blame and guilt can disappear. The important points have presented itself in ways as possible address each issue to produce solutions that now you can handle and benefit from. Acceptance will permit you to detach from the drama so that you will have the ability to see your life separate from the emotions as fear and any negativity is washed away. You feel an outside observer in the events allowing you to effectively, clearly and without the judgments control of one's reactions and your life.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is one of many big creeds that enable its members to higher handle their lives. Inside, it states: "Acceptance is the solution to any or all my problems today. When I'm disturbed, it is basically because I find some person, place or thing, or situation -some fact of my life- unacceptable if you ask me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being the way it's said to be as of this moment."
